Thursday, December 12, 2002 - 04:05 p.m.

I've complained in here about being tired before but today has been hell, the inside of my head has gone all fuzzy and the pressure on the back and sides of my skull are strong. It's like my head is slowly being squeezed in a vice. I even tried to go to bed early last night but it never worked and I just woke up earlier than normal, it's getting to really piss me off now and I just want to shout and scream at everyone.

Well, nearly everyone. There was quite a nice girl on the train this morning who kept looking over at me and sort of smiling. And before you ask, she wasn't looking at me because she thought I was some raving looney that was staring at her, she started it. Now I did sort of recognise her but no idea where from, but as is always the case when this happens on the train or the tube as soon as we stepped off the train we went our seperate ways, never to see each other again.....

They managed to fuck up my pay again this month, I despair. Apparently I'll get the difference I am owed next Wednesday. It should be quite a sizeable difference if they've done it right but we'll just have to wait and see. Join me next week for the next installment of the Steve Nicoll pay dispute...

Wednesday, December 11, 2002 - 12:37 p.m.

Mike's forum is annoying as I seem to be spending more time on that than doing any actual work, bastard. I'll get fired before I get my full confirmation of employment at this rate.

Did anyone watch the Arsenal game last night or did everyone fall asleep? Thought so. What a crap game, and there was I thinking Dundee United were terrible to watch when in fact two of the best teams from apparently the best two leagues in the world played in one of the worst games I've seen this year. Give me some proper Scottish footie any day of the week.

My sister is evil, she mentioned chocolate in an email yesterday and I couldn't stop thinking about it so when I got home I had to go and buy a big bar, I shall be fat come new year I tell ya. Especially when I also had some beer.

I bought NME again as I thought I should try and catch up a bit with the current music scene as I've been neglecting it a bit of late, and what a load of crap. The first seven pages or so were all about Liam getting his face smashed in (great shame eh?), and the letters pages are still all the same arguments that have been going on for years. Where's the imagination and spark gone in music journalism? It's all boring self-involved crap, could someone please point me in the right direction of where to read up and find decent music? I'm getting a little worried that I'm missing out on bands as the last new band CD I got was The Shining and that wasn't particularly good, and when trying to sort out my Top Ten for this year I have been struggling to find anything that really stands out. I can't be getting old so please help me kiddies (maybe I am losing a href="http://glitterscars.diaryland.com">coolness?.

I'm going out for a curry this evening with some work mates as my boss is off home to Italy tomorrow and is therefor missing Mondays Xmas lunch. At the time it seemed like a really good idea but now I am not so sure as I have the feeling it will descend into work talk or my limited brain cells will fail to think of anything truly interesting to talk about (which normally happens to me when in groups). Any ideas for topics of conversation?

Tuesday, December 10, 2002 - 04:08 p.m.

It feels like the time of year where you should be looking at what you have achieved over the year and how you are going to move on from that into next year and beyond, but lets not do that or I'll realise that all I've achieved is a new job and failed relationship. Oh, and I've met five wonderful new people of course. And reached the grand old age of 25. The future can only hold better things eh?

What is it about this time of year that gets so many people down, why do we force ourselves to look back all the time, why do we get bombarded with images of happy families/couples 24 hours a day, why are we told we have to be happy, why are we obliged to spend obscene amounts of money, why are we meant to only care for a few days each year, why do I allow myself to get trapped in all of this that I am questioning?

My mind is trapped in a groove that I can't get out of, things floating about that just can't be shaken off. I'm not sure if this is because I am failing to get any decent sleep, or whether it is causing my lack of sleep. I seem fine on the surface, but underneath I'm just rotting away. It's probably just the typical winter melancholy we all get and will melt away like the snow in spring, here's hoping.

This weekends plans are falling apart quicker than my mind (or Inverness' season). Saturday looks dead already as no-one seems to want to join us at all, and the meal on Sunday is turning into a farce as we can't decide on where we want to go. Both of the girls allegedly don't care where we go as no-one will listen to their suggestions (who wants to go to a pub for a nice Xmas meal?), but at the same time they refuse to go for anything I suggest. I think Mike is the only one not to offer anything yet so maybe we should leave the decision to him?

I'm slowly losing all patience with my housemates actually, plans seem to be being cancelled all the time as people pull-out and bugger off to do other things with people way more interesting than me, it gets annoying. Sniddey remarks seem to be the height of conversation, and we only ever see each other if we bump into each other in the kitchen. Why did I sign an extension to the lease again?

Monday, December 9, 2002 - 04:43 p.m.

Who wants to hold my hand after the air has stolen their heat? Who wants to kiss my bright red nose as the snow falls onto my face? Who wants to cuddle me as the wind blows right through me? Who wants to sleep beside me in the cold dark mornings? Who wants to make me laugh as Xmas draws nearer? Who wants to kiss me when the bells ring at midnight? Who wants to make the next year worth looking forward to?

What are you meant to do when it suddenly hits you that although you thought you had been in love with someone in your life, you were in fact kidding yourself and you just 'wanted' to be in love with them? You knew they loved you, and you dearly wanted to feel the same. You wanted to forget all those years of rejection and be like everyone else around you. You wanted to finally love someone so you tried so hard and told yourself and everyone else that you had been in love, but deep inside you knew it to be false. Then that final realisation hits you with a knockout blow. All the feelings inside go numb and you feel incapable of doing anything. What now? 25 years of never loving another person beyond family or a couple friends, that hurts, and you wonder whether it will ever change? You wonder if maybe you've already missed a chance somewhere? You think back over every decision you've made in your life, you torture yourself with different scenarios and how things might have been if only you had said/done something differently. It becomes a never ending affliction that just slowly eats away at you, but how much longer before nothing is left?

Monday, December 9, 2002 - 04:41 p.m.

For all you LOTR obsessives out there, here are a couple of quizzes for you to pass the time with.

Are you ready for the Two Towers?

Which LOTR male would you snog under the mistletoe?

Monday, December 9, 2002 - 12:33 p.m.

How come I know so many people that own Take That albums? This is quite terrifying, the next thing you know they'll admit to owning Mark Owen and Hanson albums. Maybe you lot are just trying to cause me to commit suicide this New Year or something?

I have 'I love rock 'n' roll' stuck in my head, which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't the flippin' Britney version. EVIL!!!

Anyone watch "Book of Life" on friday night? It was a Hal Hartlel movie so it certainly wouldn't have been to everyone's taste, but I thought it contained some interesting ides and thoughts considering it was about religion and such like. PJ Harvey was in it too which is never a bad thing.

Only 9 days to go, who else is excited enough to wet themselves? Ummm, me neither. Now where did those spare trousers go?

I've been preparing myself by watching all the extra's on the DVDs and it just amazes me the amount of detail that went into making these movies and all the preparation that they did beforehand. I've still got another three hours or so to go and shall devoure them before watching the movie again, and I should then be ready to embark on the second installment of the greatest movies ever made.

Do you know how on somedays you look in the mirror and you just think "SHIT, what the fuck happened?" That's me today. Not only did my hair explode after taking off my hat this morning (that's it, I'm cutting it again instead of letting it grow over the cold winter months), but I'm either getting wrinkles under my eyes or they're horible bags (I'd go for the latter as I haven't been sleeping well at all for the last couple of weeks), and just generally I look like shit. Oh dear god I sound like a woman, next thing you know I'll be complaining I don't have any clothes to wear, and what I do have looks terrible on me. ARGH!!!

Oh, does anyone in London want to come out for drinks this coming Saturday? I'm sure I've mentioned this before but there are a few of us meeting up and necking some (read: copious amounts of) alcohol and generally chatting away and taking the piss out of Mike. It should be fun, so feel free to get in contact through the normal channels. There is nothing confirmed yet so if you have any suggestions for meeting places etc feel free to offer them as we don't have a scoobie

Sunday, December 8, 2002 - 10:20 p.m.

Primal Scream were very good on Friday night, playing a very good mix of new and old. The only problem was that on some of the new songs the guitars were so loud and skewered that you couldn't hear Bobby sing.

Best song was of course Kowalski, and not just for the expected normal reason that it is an ace song. Added to this was some nice dancing with a nice blonde who decided to rub herself up against me for most of the song, yum! (As would be expected she soon buggered off but let's not dwell on that, I've already done so and decided it's not worth eating myself up over). What is it with this time of year and me dancing seductively with women? Last year it was Sara and now this, must be something in the water.

Other standouts were Kill All Hippies, Swastika Eyes, Movin' On Up and a cover of Kick Out the Jams which they closed the night out with.

The Kills who were supporting were also good, very New York punk.

Sunday, December 8, 2002 - 08:05 p.m.

Yesterday was really exciting, I cleaned the kitchen. What an exciting life I lead huh? I may also have done some food shopping and watched a movie, who says London isn't full off opportunities?

Sunday, December 8, 2002 - 07:58 p.m.

Well the football didn't get much better this weekend really, Everton lost to Chelsea again (although it should at least have been a draw after our second half performance), and United could only manage a draw against the Hibees. At least it wasn't another defeat I suppose, but with Rangers and Hearts being our next two games I do not know where our points are going to come from.

Friday, December 6, 2002 - 04:15 p.m.

Off to see Primal Scream tonight, hopefully they will play loads off the last couple of albums as I'm in the mood for loud screaming lyrics and distorted guitars. It will also piss off all the middle-aged drugged up lovies there to worship the songs from Screamadelica, he he. Oh, and they'd better play Kowalski as that song is just ace.

Life has been dull as pig shit lately and that's why I've not been updating/emailing/phoning. I just don't want to bore you all with how dull things are.

Thanks people for not commenting on the footie results lately, both United and Everton are now doing what I have come to expect from them and getting thrashed every week. How I didn't trash my room on Wednesday is some sort of miracle, United were dire.

Oh, and thanks to all those who've enquired about whether I got my job or not, you'll be glad to hear that I did. So Stevie is now full-time and has just sent off his application to become a member of Unison, look out for the future left-wing militant leader in your papers kiddies.

Kymee, Ellie and Dave are neds [snigger]. Basically Neds are your average council estate dwellers who wear shell suits, listens to shitee dance music, go to holiday in Ibiza, support one of the weegie teams, and generally act liked pissed up knob'eds. Oh, and they'll probably have 3/4 kids by different partners as well. And if they're women they'll have greasy hair that is tightly tied back with a stupid fringe.

Oh, and I've not said this in a while. Xmas sucks! I actually went to buy some more cards today and had planned on getting individual ones for the last few people I had left to write to, but I'm fed up of spending so much money that I bought a pack of charity ones instead. I don't care if the people think I'm a stingey bugger, screw 'em. But I've finished all the present buying so no need to go anywhere but food stores now and thank fuck for that. The saddest person this year (ie, the first one to send a card to me) is my cousin, who I never wrote one for, doh!

Thursday, December 5, 2002 - 07:52 p.m.

So Miss Mols wants to know our views on marriage and babies eh? Well for most that know me you'll probably know the answer to this so please feel free to skip this entry.

Marriage - complete load of bollocks if you ask me. Firstly there are the religious conotations, fuck that. Secondly, most relationships end these days, so why bother? Thirdly, waste of money. If you want to have a party, have a party, don't make people dress up in stupid clothes and buy you presents, you greedy gits. Forthly, we weren't designed to live with one person, why argue with nature? Fifthly, it just seems like something the state wants you to do, fit into nice little categories that they can control and manipulate(I'm not paranoid). Finally, who the fuck would want to marry me?

Babies - ha ha ha. 1. I hate babies. 2. I hate kids. 3. I can just about look after me, let alone someone else. 4. I do not have the patience, too short a fuse. 5. They would just turn into a ned. 6. Why would I want to create something to live on this planet? 7. Don't you have to have sex to have a baby?

Monday, December 2, 2002 - 10:41 p.m.

I remember now why I hate Xmas - Christmas cards. I am currently covered in glitter and have a splitting headache, all after writing a few stupid cards that will be sent, opened, placed on some surface, then thrown into the bin. So what's the point again? All of this was not helped by the fact that I started writing out a card for the second time for one of my aunts which meant a wasted card, and also for one set of cards there is an envelope missing. Bah humbug. I also have a cut lip from an envelope, I think I want to kill someone.

I'm actually starting to hate Xmas this year more than ever, what with the complete lack of invention going into any of the presents that I bought (only my Dad and Maz I think shall be surprised with what I've gotten them, the rest will be like, is that it?), the speedy dissapearance of money into the black hole of a religious time of year which I don't even believe in, and the complete loneliness that one feels at this time of year when single (two Xmas' in a row now, that makes 23 out of a possible 25). I can't even will myself to think of presents for other people to get me, that's how little I care about it to be honest.

Fuck, I'm out of here as I'm feeling sorry for myself when I shouldn't be. Ignore this post and go listen to screechy little kids ball out xmas tunes instead.

Monday, December 2, 2002 - 04:28 p.m.

This says a lot about what I think of supposed 'artists' and their highbrow views of the masses. Maybe one of you lot have an opinion on this?

Sunday, December 1, 2002 - 09:34 p.m.

I only have one thing to say about this weekend: 183!

Thursday, November 28, 2002 - 09:15 a.m.

I have never felt this nervous for a job interview in my life. If I don't get this it will all be my own fault as well so expect a really violent self-attack if I cock it all up. The only good news is I don't have to resit the test as I have (just) done it within the last six months. Who's got some whisky?

Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 10:51 a.m.

Well I had a nice time having discussions with various people online last night about the Fire Fighters strike, glad to see there are so many right wing tory fascists (I'm kidding) still out there who are falling for the progandada machine (this bit I am not kidding about). How can it be wrong to fight for a decent wage? Someone please explain to me what is wrong with wanting to look after your family? We currently live in a country where train drivers earn £30k and Fire Fighters £20k, is this right? I'm not saying that the tube drivers are overpaid, but that Fire Fighters are underpaid. There is a massive amount of inequality in this country and we need to try and fight to end the ever increasing gap between rich and poor, and the only way to do this sometimes is to strike for it otherwise no-one listens and the voices of the less well off are not heard. Would you have cared about nurses not being paid enough if they hadn't kicked up a fuss about it? Would this country have a minimum wage if people hadn't fought for it? Would women have equal rights in the work place if they hadn't fought for it? Would the Labour party even exist if it wasn't for the Unions? History is littered with fights and battles to achieve equality and this is just another part of that. If you want to sit on your arse at home and do nothing about the injustices in society then so be it, but DO NOT EVER complain in front of me that you have a bad life because of some injustice as you have done nothing to try and change it. And just because you think some issue doesn't directly effect you does not mean that it isn't worth getting involved in, in the long run it could mean better conditions for a large proportion of people, which in turn would benefit society as a whole and that society includes you.

Ever since the The Devil/Reagan era we have become more and more passive, letting the mass media and government speak down to us and dictate our views, why? Do you not want to question things and find out the truth? Is it that scary to really know what goes on in the world? We are meant to live in a rich, civilised world yet injustices carry on everywhere because we just don't care, can someone please explain to me why (and if one more person tell me it's 'cause they don't understand the issue or that they think they'll look stupid talking about it as others know more than them, I shall scream. Go and find out about the issue, everyone has to start at the beginning, and I'm certainly no expert)? We live in one of the richest nations in the world yet we still treat a large proportion of workers like shit, paying them crap wages (and there is still a large proportion of people who get less than the pitiful national minimum wage), and making them work in terrible working coniditions. We have the media scaring people with stories of tax rises of £1,500 each to fund the fire fighters, what tosh. That increase would only be needed if the government was stupid enough to not tax the rich people of the country properly, and to keep businesses taxes so low. But they won't do that will they as it is these rich people and those businesses that fund them, oh and they try and scare us with stories that businesses would leave the country if taxes went up. What? Yep, Sweden is just a mess with their high taxes right?

So go out there and look for the facts instead of being forcefed manipulative lies by the mass media. You might not think that one person can make a difference, but they can. Every cause starts from a single idea or thought, and it is only from their that you can persuade others to join with you in a fight to make that cause happen. And even if one person can't make a difference, by adding yourself to a group of people you are swelling their numbers, which in turn makes their voice louder, which in turn could lead to more people hearing that voice and joining in. You could be the start of a train reacion that makes a difference.

This is all over the place and probably makes little sense, but my blood is boiled just now and I needed to get it off my chest. Oh, and if anyone does agree with me on the Fire Fighters strike please leave a message in my gb as just now I feel like a lonely old man fighting a lone cause.

Monday, November 25, 2002 - 04:12 p.m.

I keep going on about my Top 5 live shows but as of yet I don't think I've mentioned an actual list have I? So as to clear matters up and to make more sense of the way I review gigs in the future I shall write out my Top 5 below. The order of the first two changes with what mood I am in as they were both equally amazing, so don't be surprised if I mention this again and the order is a little different:

1. Mogwai - Reading Festival 2001
2. And You will know us by the Trail of Dead - Kentish Town Forum, 2002
3. Sigur Ros - Royal Festival Hall, September 2002
4. Kristen Hersh - Camden Underworld, 2001
5. Foo Fighters - London Arena, November 2002

There is a pattern there of all being within the last couple of years, but up until 2000 I had only been to a handful as before I went to Uni I lived in the middle of nowhere (my first ever gig was REM at Murrayfield in 1995), and then when I went to Uni it was in a city which didn't know much about staging live events (until I leave of course and now loads of bands go, boo hiss. I did however see JJ72 in a pub there, I could have touched Hillary at that moment).

I just went and put a bit of a rant in his guestbook as people were slagging off firefighters, I'm currently counting the minutes until the hate mail starts. I do take on board the views of the nurses who can't go on strike, but if the firefighters are succesful then it gives a good base for the other services to push for decent living wages. All throughout the 90's people were getting large pay rises and bonuses whilst the public sector saw none of it, now they are wanting a slice people are telling them to 'get to fuck'. You lot weren't complaining at your pay rises five years ago where you so why begrudge them? Also, the Government keeps complaining that if we give the Fire Fighters this pay rise then other Public Services wil start fighting for the same. Well President Blair, if you paid the workers a decent wage in the first place then you wouldn't have this problem would you?

Unfortunately secondary picketing was banned by 'the evil one' otherwise you would probably see a lot of other services going on strike as this whole situation is deliberately stretched out by the Government so as to make the Fire Fighters look bad.

If I see one more story about how many people have died since the beginning of this strike I am going to go on a murderous rampage you know. If the stats were compared to when there was no strike I doubt there would be much difference if any, not only does this reporting distort the issue but it lowers the army's moral as they think people don't think they can do the job, which in turn means they do a poorer job. But I doubt anyone really thought of that did they?

We are able to find spare cash to blow a country to fuck, but not to pay a decent wage. What does that tell you about our government eh? Death is obviously more important than life.

And finally on this subject, whilst arguing in Mike's guestbook someone asks why £21,000 isn't a living wage? Well if you live in any major city in the UK you are not going to be able to afford to buy any sort of decent living accomodation (although I don't understand the reason for buying property, most people seem to want to do it) or have an actual life beyond work, sitting in front of the tv, and getting hammered on a friday/saturday night. To me that is not living, that is merely existing. Why should people have to live off Iceland meals and buy most of their major goods from discount shops? Why should they not be able to go off on holidays and enjoy life as it is meant to be experienced? Work is not the be all and end all of life, whatever the companies try and tell us. Also, try existing with a family with only £21,000, it will not be a very exciting life, especially come Christmas time.

It is also annoying that I now can't reply to mook's last point in Mike's guestbook as you are not able to write loads of entries into people's gb's within a short period of time as it is deemed as spamming. I need a floating IP address.

Churchill 1st and Diana 3rd? When are the real results being released?

Monday, November 25, 2002 - 11:03 a.m.

I don't think I have made it into bed before 1am in over a week now, especially at the weekend where 3am seems to be a common time for starting to try and wind down from a long hard day of sitting either at the computer or in front of the TV. I live such a hard life it is no wonder I am struggling to keep my eyes open at this moment in time :o)

Yesterday was a perfect example of how busy my life is, I never even got dressed or left the house at any point. I think the furthest I got from my room was when I went and shaved in the bathroom before I went to bed, and the busiest things I did were make a nice (although he disagrees) apple, pastry, treacle style thing (no idea what it is meant to be called, just saw it being made on TV and decided I had to make it too) for my dessert, and completely wipe my hard drive on my computer as the whole thing went crazy on me again. All sorted now though and it seems to work a little quicker too.

Saturday was little better actually as I only left the house to do food shopping, of which I bought way too much and have no idea what to actually do with half of it. I did make a nice attempt at a Philly Cheesesteak though, which although yummy came no-where near the real thing. I must be missing some special ingredient somewhere, any idea to what it could be? Someone out there must have been to Phily surely?

I hear you all crying out for a review of the Foo Fighters from Friday night, but I don't want to give too much away as I know some people are going to see them tonight and I don't want to ruin it for them. I will say this however:

1. Cave In were a poor support band, ok tunes and moves, but the guy cannot sing. They should also refrain from finishing with a Led Zep song.
2. Dave Grohl is a fucking god.
3. There were way too many kids at the gig. Were we standing in the creche section?
4. The Foo Fighters rock!
5. Monkey Wrench will never be forgotton after that performance.
6. A Top 5 gig.

So United lost the Dundee derby (which is down to my sister and dad being there, when was the last time you saw a derby win shonie?), no need to rub it in Kymee, especially when 'Pool lost and Everton won. When the Moyse-side derby comes along soon we'll see where each team is after that shall we? You should also learn not to take the piss out of me after we've lost to the scummy blue nose bastards as I ain't the nicest of people, just ask my battered desk and the neighbours who have probably not heard language like that used on Saturday afternoon in their lives.

The Special Edition Lord of the Rings is even better than the original, and some of the added scenes will help the story make sense later on. Most of the additions are just short extras and some people probably wouldn't notice them, but the beginning has been changed quite a bit and there are even more scenes with the truly terrifying Galadriel. Unfortunately though this third viewing has made me go and read message boards about LOTR, and I seem to know what they are talking about too. Someone better come and save me before I turn into a complete Tolkein-ite (not sure what the fans are called actually).

I also watched Brotherhood of the Wolf on Saturday, the action scenes are clearly stolen from CTHD but the director has used an interesting myth and turned it into a quite brilliant movie. The filmography and camera work is fantastically done, especially some of the ways they have switched between scenes, not just your usual fade to black or whatever, they've actually thought of intuitive ways of merging the scenes together. There were maybe a few too many slow-mo scenes, but overall I can't complain. Certainly better than Urban Legends :o) (who else spotted the dig at that in Dawson's Creek this week? Very clever, especially as the film drops a reference to DC as well).

Talking of Dawson's Creek, not only did Dawson finally get laid, but he did it with Jen whilst celebrating a film award, Joey is gonna go mad. She can come run into my arms if she wants. Pacey was also getting some, how much angst do you think is going to be flying out of the screen next Sunday which is an all-day DC special?

Finally got one of my mixes done, although that tape I started when in a pissed off mood continues to lie their waiting and hoping to be finished. Still no takers for when it is finished? The mix I did finish I think I've mentioned before as it is for Mike's boss who is trying to chat up some guy with decent taste in music, I wish I could listen to their conversations :o) It was quite tricky to make as I wanted to include stuff she has mentioned the guy talking about (all 90's indie), as well as including some more tunes from that era, whilst also slowly introducing some more modern stuff, and all this without being too extreme. I think the bravest I got was either 'Boudelaire' by Trail of Dead, or 'Lost Art of Keeping a Secret' by QOTSA.

Saturday, November 23, 2002 - 04:07 p.m.

Fucking blue nosed bastards. See what happens when my sister and dad go and see United? 2-0 down at half-time and this is what happens. I will kill them both when I see them.

Friday, November 22, 2002 - 04:29 p.m.

I keep meaning to write about Michael Moore on Sunday and then forget to, but today is about as busy as a fire station so here goes.

My only previous encounters with Michael Moore had been through his two TV programmes that were shown on Channel 4 over here and I found him to be highly amusing and opinionated, two things that I really like in people so although the ticket prices were kind of high I thought sod it and bought some anyway. I was not sure what to expect from him as I had not seen any of his documentaries, or read any of his books so it would be interesting to see what he would cover in his live show.

Well upon sitting down it was clear that he would be talking about war as he had pictures of Osama Bin Ladan, George Bush, Tony Blair and Saddam Hussain as kids hanging up as his backdrop. At one point in the show he even went round and sang to them which was very strange, but I just let it pass.

The first half about humour as much as politics, as he basically took us through what had been happening since he arrived here in the UK and talked a bit about the pending war in Iraq. He also talked about how powerful librarians are and how they saved his latest book, Stupid White Men, from being pulped (why did people laugh when he said they had their own chat rooms?) by Harper Collins as neither party would budge from their viewpoints. There was even a nice quiz between a brit and a yank (from Yale, who was in the same year as Mr Bush himself) to see who was more intelligent. The Brit won but only through a bit of cheating on Mr Moore's part as the yank involved actually knew something about geography and world politics. Oh, and he went on about his trip to see Arsenal the previous day quite a lot which was very amusing.

The second half however was a real political rant. At first he started to talk us through how he had gotton involved in politics for the first time (an essay competition that he won by accident and which changed racial laws in the country), and then how that developed into becoming the youngest ever school governor after he had a disagreement with his headmaster, it was then that he launched himself into a tirade that some people found really difficult to deal with and there was much shifting about in seats. He was trying to rally people into getting off their lazy butts into doing something, and was pushing every button he could to get people to think about what they would have done in certain situations. The most controversial point he used was whether any of us would have tried to overpower the hijackers on the plane's that flew into the WTC last September. It was a good point as he was going on about how we fall into comfort zones and expect people to look after us instead of trying to live our own lives and look after ourselves. He went on to say that maybe poorer people would have acted differently as they have had to look after themselves and fight for themselves each and ever day. He continued shouting about how all the hijackers had were small box cutters and that what harm could they really have done if 90 people had tried to overpower the 4 or 5 hijackers? He was trying to press the point that maybe the disaster would not have happened had we tried to stand up for ourselves instead of just expecting others to look after us all the time.

His most controversial point however was when he stated that a plane full of black men from Brixton would have fought their way out of the situation, that they would not have sat their ildly waiting for something to happen. Now some people thought this was racist and took him up on it at the question session at the end but he avoided truly answering it. To me I could see the point he was making, but at the same time was he trying to say that all poor people are violent and would fight their way out, or did he just mean it to mean that they would know how to deal with such a situation themselves rather than wait for someone else to do it for them? I think most of us would probably act differently on a plane or whatever now, but for years we were told to not fight back, to save ourselves from harm. Was it the government just trying to numb us down so as to obey everything they told us and to let it happen?

To end with he went through a whole list of lies that he had seen around him since landing in the UK, from anti-bacterial soap being good for you (lie), to loyalty cards being a good deal (another lie). In fact he thought the loyalty cards (in this case the new one from sainsbury's) were so bad that he got everyone to throw them to the front of the stage to be cut up. Now most people did, apart from Mike's mistress even though I pleaded with her to do so (armchair socialist). And that was pretty much it.

Overall he was very good, funny, amusing, powerful, thought provoking and interesting, but there were times where you cringed. Like the moment when he sang to the pictures in the background, or when he talked about the black men on the plane, but don't let these put you off as it is a great show that is well worth seeing. If you come out of it not wanting to make a difference you must either be a heartless tory, or Tony Blair.

Friday, November 22, 2002 - 01:46 p.m.

Well my sister can stop complaining now as I finally rang her last night, although I am a little disturbed after the conversation as she seemed very concerned at the fact that condoms aren't vegetarian. Now why would that bother my sister? She can't be having sex, she's my sister for goodness sake. Mike, don't say a word.

The rain outside had better stop by 5pm as I don't want to have to wear a jacket to the gig tonight. It should be a good one even if I haven't really listened to their new album that much, although they had better play Monkey Wrench or I will be highly pissed off. Oh, and support by Cave-In so I'm actually going to try and turn up to a gig on time for once to check them out as quite a few bands have been going on about how great they are.

Last Saturday whilst getting slowly inebriated the four of us decided to try and sort out a night for d'landers before Xmas, are we still on for it? None of the others have mentioned it yet, but I'll get the ball rolling and hopefully they'll pick up on it (especially as they all have many more readers than me). So write or leave notes saying whether that is a good/crap idea and what times you would be free to basically sit about and drink more alcohol than your should actually be possible. Come on, you know it will be fun, just think of the abuse you can give Mike :o)

I made myself a lovely Mexican Fish recipe last night which was just scrumptous, I may have to try and get Pixgrrl to show me how to make my own salsa though as the one I used wasn't the best in the world. I had to pip and peel an avocado for the recipe and considering it was my first attempt I think I did ok, although the peeling could have been a little better. I also made this cheesy bread thing, but I overcooked it slightly and it didn't have enough cheese for my liking, but least I'll know for next time. I may try the croissants on Saturday morning so the housemates could be in for a treat if I get them right.

As I've previously mentioned it is the Dundee Derby this weekend so will be spending most of the afternoon sat in front of the computer shouting and swearing along with the other couple of thousand United supporters actually at the game. My sis and dad are going along so there is a high probability of defeat, but lets hope their jinx comes to an end and we can stuff the blue nosed bastards. Sing along now...."WE FUCKIN' HATE DUNDEE, WE FUCKIN' HATE DUNDEE, WE FUCKIN' HATE, WE FUCKIN' HATE DUNDEE"
"STAND UP IF YOU HATE DUNDEE, STAND UP IF YOU HATE DUNDEE, STAND UP IF YOU HATE DUNDEE, STAND UP IF YOU HATE DUNDEE"
"COME ON THE ARABS!!!".

I just wrote an email to Emily and instead of saying I would be 'shouting a screaming' at the footie, I nearly wrote I would be 'shouting and creaming'. Hopefully the game will be that exciting :o) That women also needs to learn how to write emails, she asks how I am and what I've been up to, so I reply with a reasonably long email and she replies with a couple of words that you can't reply to. I thought it was only me that could kill conversations like that?

Friday, November 22, 2002 - 10:31 a.m.

I think strikes will be the main topic for today, what with the council going on strike again next Tuesday which means I'll have to walk through a picket line again (let's hope that I get this job full-time so I can join the Union and be militant fight for better pay along with the rest of them), the tube workers fearing for their health and safety so not turning up for work, and also the Fire Fighters starting the first of their eight day strikes today. Who says the devilMaggie killed off the Unions?

I think I'll approach this subject with another letter, one that you can all print off and send to the House of Commons should you wish:-

Dear Deputy fuckwitPrime Minister,

I would like to congratulate you on the complete mess that you have created by treating the miners Fire Workers like complete scum and denying them a decent living wage. You complain that they don't modernise, yet just looking at the clapped out water machinesGreen Goddess and the normal Red Fire Engine you can see the development that has come from the last twenty years and the truly specialist equipment that they have to use. You also complain about their working hours, yet even though they work four days on/four days off, they are actually working longer hours than most people in the country, especially Fire Fighters in the countryside who are effectively at work for four consecutive 24 hour days.

Since you are a member of New BNP Tory Nazi Labour I am greatly surprised that you are trying to beat the Unions down, especially when you were originally founded and funded by the Trade Union movement. Your Party also has a massive debt, how are you going to deal with this when the Unions decide to stop supporting you through funds?

I would also like to know why you are interfering with this pay dispute in the first place since it is a local authority pay claim? Firstly you blocked the 16% pay rise at the beginning of the summer, then you offered a paltry 4%, then you set up a farcical pay review, then you still offer only 4% (don't forget that you MP's are getting a 40% pay rise yourselves from a base much higher than that of the Fire Workers, and they do a much more important job than yourselves), and to top it all off when it looks like this eight day strike will be called off as there has been an agreement of 16% again, you step in and say nothing can be finalised without your permission, which you then delay till beyond 7am therefore forcing the Fire Workers to go on strike. At what point did common sense dissapear Mr Prescott?

As the Sun has so eloquently put it, this is your Miners strike which finally completes your metamorphises into the Tory party, add to that your idea for top-up fees at Universities and you have your version of the Poll Tax. The only thing left is to go and create complete destruction to a poor country in the middle east for no reason and you will have moved even further to the right than the Tories ever have. Oh wait???

Thank you for your time, and let all deaths caused by this strike (although I doubt there will be many if any) be felt on your shoulders.

Yours

Steve Nicoll

P.S. Apologies for all the mistakes in the above letter, it's just I get a little confused at times about who is in power these days.

Is that clear enough or should I change anything? Any suggestions please pass them on before I print out a copy and send it to the House of Commons. I urge you all to do the same (you can write your own version if you wish, but feel free to copy this one should you want to), show your support for people that are being paid crap wages and ignore the propoganda that is being pushed on you by the government and the press. It is time for the government to realise that people will not lie down and be treated like crap.

Thursday, November 21, 2002 - 04:03 p.m.

Well the happy mood is over already, I told you it wouldn't last. First off, when the weather man says the weather is going to be the same as yesterday I didn't think that I would turn up at work looking like I had had a wet dream on the train, as I certainly didn't yesterday. Also, when I tell a joke to work mates I don't expect downright hostility. All I did was joke that Joe should pay for the drinks at the Xmas meal since he wasn't going to be there and they turned on me, sense of humour anyone? Looks like the Xmas party's gonna be a lot of fun. I then had to walk to the Paperchase to pick up some cool b'day and Xmas cards and what does everyone walking in front of me do? Stop for no reason, or swing round with big bags on their back. I know what I wanted to do with that bag the little shite.

Scotland got gubbed by Portugal last night too, although I think they should have cancelled the footie and played water polo instead as I think the conditions would have suited it better. Shonie, beware the Dundee derby being called off, sounds like Dens is resembling the floor of the toilet in Trainspotting. And with the Dundee players on it, there will be plenty of shit floating on it too.

I was thinking of going to the cinema tonight but I think I'll just sit in with my new music or watch one of my DVD's as curling up quietly in my room seems like a really good idea just now. I do have some cooking to do as I have decided to try and cook more and try some differenct things so it's Cod tonight and I may try and make up some bread as well. Could be interesting.

Apparently the temp I work with did a stand-up performance last night and some TV programme are considering him and want to see him again. This is the guy that never talks in the office and who has not shown much humour at all about the place, how is this possible? It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for I suppose.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002 - 09:54 p.m.

I've found a new toy for you all to spend hours playing with instead of doing any work. Have fun.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002 - 04:46 p.m.

Could this be a second entry already? Well indeed it is, but I'm now a wise old man so I have a lot to say that you should all sit and listen to, words that you should let inhibit your body and mould your life. Maybe I should have saved my two week old beard last night and tried to look like Gandalf or something, that would have completed the look. Luckily though I didn't try and remove my head like he did, I only had one little knick and that was whilst trying to finish an old blade off so I didn't blunt the new one too quickly.

Today is going so slowly, there is only so many times I can go wandering about the corridors or go and make tea before I start getting strange looks from everyone. I did however impress everyone with my baking abilities as I brought in my now famous chocolate torte (I can see Shonie's and Mich's eyes light up with glee at just the mention of it) as part of my b'day celebrations (I know, I'm dragging it out a bit but who's gonna stop me enjoying myself? I'll be back to the miserable old Stevie soon so enjoy this now while you can). Two people have come up to me and challenged the fact that I baked it, just goes to show you what a wonderful boyfriend I would be too some lucky lass (maybe I should send an email to Jenny to see if she wants to try some?). I even do washing, cleaning and shopping (although reluctantly mostly on the latter unless I'm buying stuff for me), what more do you want? Everyone has loved the cake that I've seen, and no-one has yet dropped dead so maybe it will help bribe my bosses into giving me this job full time? Talking of which, apparently my interview will be the end of next week sometime which means I'll need to wear a suit, ugh! I bet anyone a fiver it will rain that day?

Mike's boss wants me to make her a mix CD so she can impress this boy she likes who keeps going on about indie music (although a little 90's biased by the sound of things), how obscure do you think I can go before she breaks the CD? Moldy Peaches? Alex Empire? Sonic Youth? Mogwai? Trail of Dead? The limits shall be pushed.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002 - 02:19 p.m.

This weekend has been great fun, but now I seem to be paying for it as I am struggling to stay awake at my desk. I went to bed before midnight last night hoping to get a reasonable amount of shut eye, but instead I kept waking up every couple of hours which prevented my very worn out batteries from being recharched. My body was probably looking for alcohol as it hadn't had enough that day or something.

I don't even know where to begin with this weekend as it's just been a mad whirl of alcohol, laughter, food and insane innuendo. Mike's also covered lots of it already in his diary so there's no point in boring you all too much with lots of detail as you've probably all already read it.

I suppose I should start with Friday night though eh? Well it started with some drinks with Glenn from work (glad to see the others could be bothered to turn up), before meeting up with Mike and heading to Angel where we met some of Glenn's friends in a nice little Cuban bar. To get started we decided to have a cocktail, and stupidly it was decided that I should choose the cocktail....it was mingin'. It had mint in it (which I hate) and tasted too stongly of lime, but at least it was alcoholic. After that I stuck with the beer (including free ones from two strange men that Mike met), before changing to vodka once we got to Glenn's friends house. Did I mention they were all school teachers? One was very cute, but as normal I backed off as I never knew them and just basically sat there listening to everyone else talk between themselves. Glenn then decided to leave whilst me and Mike were still drinking away which felt a little strange, but we decided to stay as more drink was needing to be drunk. I think we finally got home around 2:30am.

Saturday morning didn't really exist, and the afternoon was little better apart from the football. I remember heading towards the shower as the game started saying, "nothing ever happens at the beginning of a game", but just as I was climbing over the bed United scored within 30 seconds so I started jumping up and down like a madman. 2-1 finally, come on the Arabs. It's the derby next week where hopefully we shall thrash the scum from across the street and pull within a point of the little shites. Everton also won, cementing their place in 4th and being behind Chelsea only on goal difference, I think I may still be dreaming with that league placing.

We then rushed off to Leicester Square to meet this lovely lady, who was all bright and bubbly and not at all scary like the people you are supposed to meet online these days. After drinking one coke to get some sugar in my system I started on the real stuff and was soon throwing down vodkas and beers like it was my last day on earth. Pablo then came and joined us and we sat about talking complete filth, and listening to Mike tell the worse jokes known to man. Unfortunately Lola had to leave us, but she was a truly lovely lass and hopefully we'll be meeting up again soon. So it was left to the guys to go get more drunk and dance badly to some indie music in Holborn. The club was quite nice, though some of the music was slightly dubious in quality, but more drink was being thrown back and some terrible dancing was being performed by yours truly so I never really cared. I think home time was 4am after another stop off for an omellete bagel. Once again Pablo it was a pleasure meeting up and lets hope it won't be as long till the next time.

Sunday I decided to be a little more sensible and only had a couple of beers, one whilst watching Michael Moore, who was great and shall be talked about in more detail in another entry, and the other whilst eating at Wagamama's, kindly paid for by Mike's ex-mistress. Home time was quite early as I was so tired, but we did find time to watch Purely Belter (ok, but some dodgy use of social issues) and The Mummy (still only passable) before I finally hit the sack. I did also open my cards up after midnight as I was too impatient to wait, thanks to all who sent me wishes, cards and emails (even if some of them were disgusting), you're all too kind. Also, why does everyone think I drink a lot? And I don't have a single grey hair you lot, even with supporting United.

Monday was a struggle getting up, but after opening all the pressies where I got loads of great Cd's, books and DVD's, me and Mike headed off to wander around the Dali exhibition (which was fantastic, the Divine Comedy drawings he did were amazing, and I would just love to get hold of the Alice in Wonderland edition he illustrated) and Anish Kapor(sp?) at the Tate Modern (it was good, but sore on the neck and it made me feel dizzy). It was then a quick dash to Southgate where I met Emily and Nathan to have some booze and an absolutley scrumptious Spanish dinner. I had muscles with a lovely spicy tomatoe sauce for starters, followed by a seafood paella which had squid, octopus, prawns, muscles and chicken (not sure how that sneaked in there, but not complaining) in it. Again I never really had much booze, but I did drink some more vodka once we'd got home before retiring to a pleasant nights sleep.

The final day off was yesterday, which involved wandering around Oxford Street for probably the last time before Xmas doing some of my xmas shopping (only three things left to get, but I only have an idea for one of them, Shona what does Colin want?) and treating myself to a book and the Audrey Hepburn box set on DVD as it had been reduced to £24.99 in HMV (in fact there are loads of reduced box sets, so head down there to get a bargain kids). Then lunch and pool at the Elbow Room in Angel (where Mike kicked my arse, I did do quite well in some games, I'm just not consistent enough or have the calmness to beat him overall), some food cooked at home (finally), Jamie's Kitchen, then bed. I did flick through the channels to see if anything else was on after that, but I was falling asleep and all I seemed to find was sex on all the channels and that was just too depressing too watch. One was More Sex Tips for Girls, and another was trying to work out some national survey of our sex lives, who said us Brits were reserved eh? I could have a rant here, but I won't as this entry has been too long as it is and I don't want to bore you anymore.

Sunday, November 17, 2002 - 12:41 p.m.

The government are wanting to clamp down on binge and excessive drinking, after the last two nights their message isn't getting across to my poor liver.

Saturday, November 16, 2002 - 04:57 p.m.

United win 2-1 (just), Dundee lose, St J lose, Livi lose, Caley win, and Scotland win the rugby. The only pish result was the England win against the Ausies. I like these b'day weekends.

Thursday, November 14, 2002 - 10:13 p.m.

Still reveling in the United win of last night. We've got Motherwell and Dundee in our next two games and their is no reason why we shouldn't beat them (although she'll probably disagree) so hopefully we should be climbing up the table into relative safety. I don't think there is much between the teams below the Old Firm, I think maybe Hearts and Dunfermline are slightly ahead of the other 8 teams but not by a lot, so there are certainly plenty of points there for the taking before the league split and should we go on a 17 game unbeaten run like we did in 1997 then we'll be laughing (included wins over Rangers too). So here's hoping Celtic win tonight which would probably mean they would put out a second team in the cup if they were still going well in the UEFA Cup.

I get my pay slip today so I should find out if I've got all my payrises and back pay etc. Fingers crossed that I have as that would then pay for all the Xmas pressies I have to get people. Although people who do their shopping really early irritate me, I am very tempted to do a lot of mine this weekend as I am off work till Wednesday and that gives me a chance to walk around the streets when they are a little emptier, rather than trying to fight my way through Oxford Street on a cold December afternoon, when the streets resemble a zombie rugby match more than anything else. So what does everyone want then? Personaly I think everyone should get Amazon wishlists and then I wouldn't even need to leave the house :o)

Oh, I got b'day presents from my sister through the post yesterday, yipee. I passed them to Maz though to make sure I never opened them before the big day. I hope the fragile one isn't damaged as the postie just shoved it through the door with the rest of the mail.

Well I've now got my pay slip and I ain't a happy bunny at all. They went and paid me my old scale wage which means I didn't get my back pay, which means I'm still skint, which means no-one is getting any pressies this year. I'm not kidding, I can't be fucked buying any and I've already agreed with Mike not to bother. It's a complete waste of time and I can't be bothered with it all.

Oh, and why i'm ranting, the firefighters strike. I am in complete support of them and hope that they get their 40% pay rise. Now to many people that seems a lot, but considering the pishy wages they are on now, it isn't really that much at all. MP's managed to pay themselves 40% extra, and board members constantly give themselves bonuses for delivering less and less success, so I see no reason for denying people that save our lives on a daily basis, and risk theirs. Would you put your life on the line for £20,000 a year? The way MP's and the Press have dealt with this has been appaling, journalists have gone way down in my estimation after all this. Firstly the MP's, completely backing away from any talks until strike action had been called and then suddenly blaming the firefighters for not wanting to talk, scaring the public with horror stories about the threat of fires and terrorist attacks, and then setting up a pathetic 'external' pay review that offers 11% over two years??? What a load of crap. Then you have the press, again trying to scare the public so they give no sympathy whatsoever to the striker, yet these hacks are probably taking home 3 or 4 times what the firefighters are and what do they do? Sprout propoganda, xenophobic statements, and write crappy articles that distort the truth into what they think the people should know. Introduce me to a nice journalist and I'll introduce you to an intelligent George Bush. Even the BBC are getting in the act, the first news item I heard this morning was that 3 people had died in fires over night. Now did they go into all the details about the fire? Did they try and work out whether firefighters could have done anything different? Did they fuck.

Oh, with all these fake calls to the fire stations today has anyone been monitoring Blair and Prescott's phone bills?

Wednesday, November 13, 2002 - 09:56 p.m.

United have won against Livi so we are now into the semi finals of the cup where we can gain revenge against the evil Celt's. A nice 2-0 win did it, although Smart did manage to get himself sent of again but who cares when Lilley scores twice.

Newcastle gave me heart attacks as well, scraping through to the next round of the Champions League by scoring a winner in injury time. I think the whole of the street knows both football results :o)

Pity Liverpool went out last night though eh[snigger]?

Wednesday, November 13, 2002 - 05:41 p.m.

Sorry about the delay in updates, I was in no mood to add anything on Sunday and the internet server must have been down last night as we had no contact at all with the outside world. I did however ruin his social life by telling him he could use his old OnDigital box to obtain the new Freeview Channels, so spent time cursing at box whilst trying to get it to work without a remote control. So that means he now has BBC Westminster, guess what I'll be stealing should I be suffering from Insomnia?

I actually still have an update from Friday to put up which sort of explains part of my bad mood so I'll try and get that up tonight if I remember to email it home.

Saturday night was pretty dull in the end and to be honest I might as well not have been there, Maz and Jen just yapped on about nursing and their drug habits (that sounds worse than it is, but someone should keep an eye on mental health ward medicine cabinets). I kept looking at Jen and trying to work out why I fancied her all those months ago, fortunately I seem to be over that now and was in fact quite bored with her at times. We're meeting up to go to the cinema this Thursday but at least now I don't have to worry about saying the right thing all the time, and acting all sweet and lovely (which is a good thing 'cause as soon as we walked into the restaurant I said something stupid, doh), I can just be me.

I'm not sure if the boredness came from me or her actually as although I said fuck the depression before I left the house, by the time I had had another beer it was kicking back in. I seemed to go through the happy beer barrier and hit the other side. As a result I was quiet, withdrawn and non-interested for most of the night, 'happy' just to watch the world walk by. I'll tell you how bad it was, I never commented on a single person's bad clothing all night. Oh, except Maz's new hat but she never actually wore it out. She has bought some stupid designer bobble hat with two pig tail like tassles coming down each side, it has a monkey design on it (Mich will now tell us who the designer is hopefully) and looks horrible. And she spent £29 on it. You read me right, £29 on a bobble hat and a horrible one at that, at least my woolly hat only cost me a quid. This is a women who is supposedly a struggling nurse (who gets paid the most in the house) and who apparently never has any money.

Sunday was little better, I just lounged about watching crap on tv, some of the footie tape my sister gave me, Queen of the Damned (avoid if possible, especially if you liked the book or Interview with a Vampire), and The Project (a quite good portrayel of life under New Labour and the spin and control they have used to get where they are today). Also caught the second episode of the final X-Files series and it made absolutely no sense what-so-ever, much like the last series which seemed to jump about more than a baby on speed. I think I am grateful that it is finally ending as ever since series 5/6 it has started to go down hill.

Still no more replies for my b'day drinks on Saturday so I think I'll cancel that and just go with a night of drinks on Friday as a couple of work mates have suggested going for a couple. Glad to see that I am as popular as ever in the world of London, Stuart was trying to get me to move up to Scotland when I was at his and slowly I am starting to turn to his train of thought. The lease runs out in June, and with Emily almost certain to move out, and Maz looking for a place of her own maybe it's time to move on? I wanted to give the place another year at least but I'm struggling to cope too often now. I'll have to see how the job application goes for this place as well I suppose, I mean if I don't get it I'm out of a job come the end of June anyway so what reason (except my best mate) would there be for staying? Apparently they went through the 200 applications on Friday but I've not heard anything so not sure if this is good or bad. I'm presuming they created some sort of short list but nobody's giving away any clues, hmmmm. Should I be nervous?

I started making a mix tape last night as I just felt like making one, but it's not finished yet and that's probably a good thing as I don't even know who I was making it for??? I can't think of anyone who would like the music on it as it has quite a variety, and with the first three songs taking over 20 minutes they would probably have to have patience with the music as well. I'm still deciding whether I like every song on it as well. I'll finish it off tonight or tomorrow and give it a proper listen and see what it works out like, maybe then I can work out who to give it to.

I had to do Customer Care training yesterday morning, and although watching people act out different scenarios can be mildly distracting for a while, when you are in a roasting room first thing on a monday morning it becomes very difficult to concantrate. I also came out wanting to kill our customers and I'm not sure that that was the idea? They also played the Waterboys before it started and I know have them stuck in my head, "And you saw the whole of the moon". AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Off to see Bright Eyes tonight which should help my mood no end, I'll either come back and slit my wrists or fall over in sand again like I did last time I went to this venue.

United were unlucky on Sunday and it took two dodgy free-kicks for Celtic to get their goals, but at least it shows possible signs of improvement and if we put that sort of commitment into tomorrow's cup game and into the next few league matches we should be able to pick up some much needed points. It's a big IF though. A cup win tomorrow would especially be good as it would mean we got one over Livi after them sneaking a win over us a few weeks back, and it would also mean we have the smelly glaswegians in the semi's and we could avenge Sunday's defeat in style.

The people who think of street names are either really stupid or really clever I'm not sure which, but to call a street 'Prince of Wales Passage' is just fantastic. Jokes to the usual address please.

This whole entry makes me sound like a fuckin' teenager full of pretentious angst doesn't it? When will I grow up?

Wednesday, November 13, 2002 - 05:38 p.m.

This was meant to have been posted on Friday but I forgot to email it home, so for your enjoyment four days late:

This time I remembered to put a hat on since it was raining, but unfortunately I did it first thing this morning....before my gel had dried (i only wear it to flatten my hair, I'm not a poser). So I now have hair which resembles that of a german 80's rock star, all spiky and all over the place.

I had big plans this morning for speaking to Jenny, I was thinking to myself that if she was to walk in this would happen:

S - "Hi, Lana never really introduced us, Jenny isn't it?"
J - "Yeh, and you're Stephen?"
S - "Indeed, so how are you?"
J - "Fine, you?"
S - "I'm good, looking forward to the weekend and getting my usual drunken self. You got anything planned at all?"
J - "No, not really"
S - "Why not, how can you not have a weekend of fun planned ahead? Me and a couple of mates are going out for drinks if you want to join us?"
J - "Well, I don't know."
S - "Look, it's just a few drinks with a couple of female friends who are harmless enough, although they are a little mad as they are nurses, come on have some fun."
J - "OK then".

We would then swap numbers, talk a bit about where we were going to meet up and times but that I would call tomorrow to confirm everything. Then tomorrow would come and I'd be nervous all day trying to work out how to pick up the phone, then once I'd worked that out I'd stare at the numbers trying to work out which ones to press, then once I'd got that figured out I would then start to type then in before stopping and thinking this was a bad idea. This would be repeated at least five times before finally calling her and when she did answer she would go "Who?" and I would have to explain it was Steve from work etc. Then we would then finally meet, she'd bring a friend for moral support, we'd slowly start to get drunk, I would start charming her and telling jokes (although not sure where the charm or jokes would come from as they don't normally exist, this is all in my mind though so go with me), our hands would meet under the table, she'd slowly lean into me, we'd walk to the station hand in hand, I'd offer to accompany her home but she's refuse saying it was ok as she had her friend with her, we'd hug and I'd give her a little kiss, then love would blossom and we'd live happily ever after.

Instead this happened:

Jenny walks into the office, I enthusiastically say hi, she says hi back, she hands me the invoices, I look away and check them, I mumble something about them being ok whilst she stands waiting for me to say something, she then wanders off thinking I am a complete moron with spiky hair.

For humanity's sake can someone kill me, it would be better for everyone. I can't stand keep seeing her, us both smiling and shyly saying hi to each other before wandering off with a big smirk on my face. I'm fucking 24 not 14, no wonder I'm a lonely old man whose hardly had any girlfriends if this is how I act all the time. I'm gonna get a t-shirt for myself that says "BIG TIME LOSER" on it, then people would at least know to avoid me and I wouldn't work myself up into thinking someone could actually fancy me. As I keep saying though, I'm happy being single right?

Oh, and Jonny (the temp I now work with) thinks she's really cute, which I tell him I agree with (now why couldn't I say this to Lana who knows and speaks to her?). He's got a girlfriend but he'll probably still ask her out before I ever do. I'm just gonna go slam my head on the desk for a bit now, shouldn't be too long.

I have decided I am not as sad as some people though, go read my message in Pablo's guestbook to see what I mean.

Help, two colleagues are trying to set me or Jonny up with a scary old woman at the Xmas party. I don't know her that well but she seems very overbearing from the conversations I have had and not many people have nice stories to tell about her. I nearly wrote I prefer them young but I could end up getting arrested, especially after my comments after the JJ72 gig. I was commenting on how lovely Hillary was, but instead of stopping there I mentioned that she always looks like a confused twelve year old. I have a way with words I tell you.

Wednesday, November 13, 2002 - 12:37 a.m.

Internet connection at home has gone all screwy and only seems to work when we should all be snuggled up in our beds, and the email system crashed at work so although I have two rather long entries to add from the last four or five days you're going to have to wait a little longer for them.

Just back from Bright Eyes which was good, but more of that tomorrow. Adios sweeties.

Saturday, November 9, 2002 - 05:24 p.m.

"I'm gonna get you in the jewels"

Fuck this being depressed shit, I'm now on about my fourth beer, have 'Chicks' on the stereo, and about to go out and have a laugh with Jen and Maz. I'll leaving my boring life and a hangover till Sunday.

Saturday, November 9, 2002 - 05:09 p.m.

Blasting out loud music and drinking beer as been in a stinking mood for the last couple of days as I have been eating myself up over a few things which I just have to get over. Off out in a bit to get drunk on money I don't have, especially as we are meant to be eating out which I didn't know about until an hour or so ago. Looks like I'll be eating scraps from the bins for the rest of the week until I get paid.

Saturday, November 9, 2002 - 05:06 p.m.

EVERTON, EVERTON, EVERTON!!! And with Liverpool and Man Utd losing today it's been a great day for football. Up to 4th place in the league, who would have thought it eh? Motherwell got beat which means even though United will get gubbed tomorrow we shall remain above them thank god. Inverness also won the Highlands derby which is never a bad thing, even if their manager and chairman are lying gits.

Thursday, November 7, 2002 - 07:33 p.m.

Well it looks like my birthday drinks are going to be a quick and quiet one (wow, bit like having sex then?) if the current rate of response is anything to go by. Please love me and come for drinks people :o( OK, I do know that a couple of the people have got important things to worry about just now and the important thing is that they are ok (I hope things go well for you on Friday by the way).

Went to see 28 Days last night and it was ok, presonally I prefer the George Romero zombie movies but at least in this horror film they can move at pace which adds a little suspension. Not sure what Danny Boyle was doing with the film work though as he kept changing filming technique and film type, and then he suddenly added this weird painting effect to some fields as the car drove through it. What the fuck? The 'jump' scenes were a little predictable although they did get to me a couple of times, and the ending was just naff but I would still recommend it for a fun late night out if you just switch your brain off and sit back. I think Alex Garland should stick to writing books though.

The Everton machine continues its march onwards. OK we did require penalties to go through in the cup, but against Newcastle that's not an embarressment and with Arsenal, Spurs and Leeds (and what a wonder 35 yard goal against them) crashing out there is less competition to get through to the latter stages. Come on the Toffee Men!

oh, hello to the 'footie' fan. Thanks for popping in and saying hi, I've heard these two go on about you before but to actually be visited by such an esteemed person was so flattering, just a shame you don't support a proper football team :op I'm sure when the giggling(long haired) women from up North comes down we shall be able to have an argument about this in a pub in London whilst confusing the locals.

How could they find Winona guilty? I reckon it's a miscarriage of justice, it has to be taken to the supreme court and appealed against immediately. My baby would never steal anything, she's way too cute for that.

Had to pay a deposit for my Xmas lunch yesterday (a monday of all days, what state do they reckon I'll be in on Tuesday if last year is anything to go by?) and I had a fight on my hands to get the guy to accept the Scottish five pound note I had, some people are so annoying. The menu for the place looks good and I'll probably end up having the salmon for my main course and something off the trays for dessert (I hate Xmas pudding), but I am stuck between Stuffed Mushrooms and Mozzarela E Pomodoro (cheese and tomato for the simple minded out there) for starters. Yum, even the thought of food is making me salivate. I can't believe everything has turned to Xmas already, bah humbug.

On the train to E'burgh last week I was bored so I started to work out my top ten albums for the year so far (THE most important list of the year as you all know) and to be honest I was struggling, there are some obvious ones like Idlewild, Flaming Lips and Trail of Dead, but there was no truly standout albums and after about 6 or 7 albums I was struggling to think of anything that wasn't just average. Have I missed loads of albums this year? Is there some hidden gem that is still waiting to be unearthed? The JJ72 album is now starting to grow on me so will probably start edging it's way up the list, but compared to previous years (and their first album) is it really that great? Sigur Ros has already planted itself at number one and I've only heard it twice (with the first time travelling on a train through thick fog covered Scottish landscape which was just beautiful) so that goes to show how easy it is to knock any competition aside this year.

Considering I hadn't written in this blog for ages now I can't stop myself, even if it is complete drivel (blame the glasgow two). It's certainly helping me avoid writing my story which is currently stuck at around 3,000 words (it should be about 8,.000 by now).

Wednesday, November 6, 2002 - 07:13 p.m.

See, United aren't that bad overall. Third best team from Scotland in Europe, and 6th overall which means we beat the smelly scum from across the road.

Wednesday, November 6, 2002 - 06:00 p.m.

I think Ellie has been fixing the poll for her haircut as I don't get 19 readers so how can there be that many votes? I think the fact I got her to post a picture of her in school uniform is an achievement though, just wait till you get those dodgy porn google searches Ellie. You're certainly never going to see the way I looked at school, if you thought I was ugly now, then I had hair to scare Bon Jovi. Oh, and the poll result is massively in favour of Ellie getting her hair cut, you're all mad I tell you.

Dear Americans,

You are the most stupid bunch of idiots in the world. You had the chance to show Bush and the rest of the would-be-murderers that you didn't want a war and that you wanted to concentrate instead on the worsening economy that was about to explode in your country, but no, instead you give him full power to destroy your country even more. Well I hope you are happy now, just don't expect any sympathy from me when none of you have jobs and your young start coming home in coffins.

fae Stevexx

Kymee, if yer gonna make jokes about football at least make them funny. I do believe England drew with Macedonia in their last game, a much bigger joke than Scotland beating Iceland.

Talking of footie, United have gone and appointed a numpty as manager. Why did we not got for Patterson and show some ambition? My club is rapidly collapsing and I can see nothing but relegation battles for the next few years. We've got loads of players with contracts that end after this season as well and are we trying to sign any of them up?

Everton on the other hand are continuing to amaze by playing well and are now up to sixth in the league. To be honest I'll be happy with a place in the top half this season after the last few years but fingers crossed Moyes can keep the team going. And what about Wayne Rooney eh? Only just turned 17 and already a god on merseyside, move aside Owen the new boy is in town.

Drinks on Saturday with Ginger Jenny, should be fun, now if it was only with dark haired Jenny [sigh].

I think it is time to put bookworms to sleep, don't you agree? Thanks to all who joined in, I hope you enjoyed it whilst it lasted. I did actually read Sin City but kept forgetting to write an entry, and then with me and Mike being the only people voting on this months book it felt like the right time to kill it off. Another Stevie idea bites the dust....farewell dear friend.

The next time that I look out the window and think its not raining too hard and decide not to wear my hat, slap me. I did manage to get nice biccies from the shop though :o) I now can't read a single diary at work as the IT Department have blocked every single one of them, who do I kill over this?

Tuesday, November 5, 2002 - 11:24 p.m.

I need to log off now as I am as depressed as fuck and if I don't stop reading diaries and listening to gentle music I'm gonna start crying.

Tuesday, November 5, 2002 - 11:06 p.m.

I've pretty much caught up on all the diaries I used to read so completely failed to write anything for my book this evening. Failure is a word I am completely familure with.

Tuesday, November 5, 2002 - 09:45 p.m.

I'm not really a Jamie Oliver fan, but this new series about him opening up a non-profit restaurant is funny so far as some of the cooks are completely incompetent. It's making me want to cook again, but I only really get the chance when people come visit as it seems a bit pointless cooking for one. I even cooked a meal for the olds at home even if it was only stuffed mushrooms and rissotto. So people, feel free to invite yourselves to my house so I can cook you something nice.

Tuesday, November 5, 2002 - 08:59 p.m.

These fireworks are starting to get on my nerves now, it was fun for a while but the repetitive thud thud thud is just fucking annoying me now.

Tuesday, November 5, 2002 - 08:38 p.m.

Fuck, I don't like my story already. Might as well stick with it though since it is started. It is in the style of a diary and some of the ideas I've had I don't know how to translate into past tense etc which would be needed for this format. Why do I suck so much?

Tuesday, November 5, 2002 - 08:27 p.m.

Low are beautiful singers but I am now as depressed as fuck. Not helped by the fact I just sent out an email to invite people for b'day drinks and i haven't seen these people in ages so not really holding my breath.

Tuesday, November 5, 2002 - 06:15 p.m.

More stories from my trip, ain't you a lucky bunch.

First off was me at Dave's house, at some point getting up for the toilet and standing on something. Skip to morning. Putting on glasses and finding that one arm is pointing in completely wrong direction and that lens is still lying on floor. Cue some very quiet cursing and trying to figure out how to fix them without snapping arm off. So now I have a nice wee scratch in the middle of the lens which is not annoying in the slightest.

Second, Dave giving me a heart attack whilst walking through a door and making me spill my water all over his floor. That sounds nastier than it should but when I left the living room he was elsewhere, then just as I was walking back into it he was walking out. I think he can teleport himself or something. So he's either a superhero or a scary mad scientist.

Third, according to my knowledge 1972 falls into the 50's somehow (maybe I should have listened to the question before opening my gob.

Finally, a few of the drunkards spent a small part of the journey trying to learn someone's signature off a credit card. No idea who's it was but they did turn up with more booze at one points so i presume they got away with it. I should have reported it I suppose but I didn't want the hassle or anything as there were quite a few of them and not all of them would have got in trouble. Such a good citizen ain't I?

And that's all the stories I can remember from the trip for just now, I'm sure more will swim back so you'll just have to wait.

I'm worried that the temp doing my job as I cover the lass that has just left doesn't exactly know what he is doing all the time. I know people can be messy but he just has stuff lying all over the place, including stuff I asked him to pass on yesterday. I keep asking him if he is getting on ok and he always says yes so there isn't much more I can do is there?

After watching Coupling last night I don't think I'll ever be able to watch Spiderman in the same light ever again. Geoff dressed up like that and dancing like a madman is a scary image to have in your head.

My work computer keeps blocking the access to all the sites that I want to visit, including pitas, so although I am writing this all through the day I'm not going to be able to post it till this evening. That sucks!

Dave, you checked to see who's winning the fantasy football lately? HA HA!!! Come on me!!!

I want to start reading diaries again as it means I can steal gain ideas for my story as well as give me an excuse not to write anything but after looking at a couple I feel completely lost as I have no idea what has been happening to people, can't you all have boring and simple lives like me?

I'm watching The Simpsons and they are in Japan, whilst Lisa is looking out the window of the hotel it shows the Little Kitty factory where all you can hear is some kittens mewing when suddenly smoke starts bellowing out of the chimney and they then start howling....he he!

Monday, November 4, 2002 - 11:15 p.m.

I warned her but she wouldn't listen. I certainly know which way me and Dave will be voting.

Should Ellie be allowed to cut her hair? Yes No

Monday, November 4, 2002 - 11:10 p.m.

My first day of writing for nanowrimo and I only got 1700 words down, oh dear. I'm not gonna worry about it though as that will just make it harder to go with the flow and just write. Do not be surprised if yet again I fail to get it done as I am notorious for being a useless fuck that doesn't finish things that I start. The only thing I will complete is life, and even then it won't have been done well.

Monday, November 4, 2002 - 11:08 p.m.

I know I've been away but I get the feeling Maz is ignoring me for something I said last week when she was drunk. Unfortunately I can't remember what it was even though I was sober (for fuck sake, I couldn't even remember how many days there were in a year earlier) so this could go on for a while. Maybe I should just stop talking or something and that would save me feeling such a prick all the time?

Monday, November 4, 2002 - 10:57 p.m.

I'm shutting it now on a rating of 7.2 after 500 votes so feel free to go and vote me down before I delete it at the end of the week. Who would have thought ugly old me was about average?

Monday, November 4, 2002 - 09:08 p.m.

Sebastian Bach is currently on Never Mind the Buzzcocks and it's some scary shit.

Monday, November 4, 2002 - 05:55 p.m.

So how to cover the last week or so without boring you to death? That is the great task of the day.

Well to begin with I had the Socialism 2002 conference for the weekend which was really good. I agreed with a lot and disagreed with some, but overall I enjoyed it and learnt quite a bit. I did three workshops covering the financial mess of South America, the environment and how it fits in with socialism, and the general world economic state. I felt a little daunted as everyone seemed to know each other, and definitely knew more than me but I just sat and listened and tried to take some of it in. So overall it was a good weekend, although the strong winds were causing a little concern and by the end of the day all trains out of London had been cancelled, yipee.

Which meant come monday morning when I was due to head off to Aberdeen the station was chaos as people who didn't get on trains on the sunday piled onto any available train they could. Luckily I got to my seat before anyone stole it and I sat stock still for the whole journey, a journey that was two and a half hours late. Luckliy Mich didn't mind too much and we spent the evening with her dad chatting and watching Oceans 11 (still a good film), thanks again for putting me up and for not making me sleep on the blow-up bed :o) Once again she was the perfect host.

It was then off home for a few days which basically involved watching too much tv, drinking, eating too much food (eat as much as you want at the pizza place), listening to my mum go on and on and on, shopping with shonie, failing to get anything read, and protecting myself from killer dogs (aka Megan and Kelly, my sisters little dogs).

Then it was another train journey, this time to E'burgh where I was spending time with some Uni mates. This night basically involved lots and lots of alcohol, some rather lovely cooked food from the host, some dodgy dancing on the dance floor, some chatting to a really cute girl who unsurprisingly was attached to someone, some really good music, followed by collapsing on the sofa-bed and falling asleep within minutes. The next morning was hell and we struggled to make it into town to meet some more friends but somehow we managed it (although how Stu did I'm not sure as he'd thrown up all over the place the night before, luckily his fiance cleaned it all up for him). So burgers were eaten and amusing chat was enjoyed by all. Finished my time off in E'burgh by playing (and losing) footie on the playstation whilst listening to united win in injury time on the radio (and about bloody time too).

Final destination in Scotland was glasgow, the smelly city on the west coast where they only wear one shoe. After some confused looks Dave and I worked out who we were and off we headed for more drink at his flat, then we met ellie who for some reason was approaching random people outside the station and getting embarressed (sorry, couldn't resist it), but once we finally said hi we headed to the pub for more drinking, enjoyable chat (although the music was quite high and I'm tone deaf so not sure if I was actually answering the questions those two asked me), and eating of hair (she's gonna kill me if I keep on going like this). Off we then staggered, first to drop Ellie off at her station, then supposedly home. Unfortunately we had gotton on the wrong line and had to get a taxi back, but first relief was required, so in a perfect reannactment of some pissed up 'neds' we found the nearest wall and deposited the nights drink. Again I collapsed on a sofa and was asleep within minutes. A lazy afternoon was then had with Dave (who made gorgeous bacon and bagels for lunch), laughing at model behaviour and dawson's creek (jen should be shot for throwing out a signed copy of pinkerton, i don't care that her bf had cheated on her, that was just pure evilness), before heading off into the sunset and back home. I had a great time and have to say that Dave was thoroughly charming and a great host, please accept my humble appreciations kind sir. Ellie was also wonderfully charming and cute as a button, I just wish she hadn't kept reminding us of how young she was as it made me feel like a dinosaur.

The trip home was also delayed as there were loads of pissed people who decided to bottle each other which meant the train had to be stopped whilst the police carried out probably the most detailed investigation in their careers (ie, it took them longer than five minutes), which meant a whole carriage was cordened off, so then everyone in that carriage had to sit in any spare seats that were left, this in turn meant pissed people were wondering about the train for the whole journey being really annoying, and I got home at midnight which was around an hour and half late.

And don't even get me started on the mood I am in today at work, to be continued.....

Monday, November 4, 2002 - 10:43 a.m.

Major news headlines from the past couple of weeks:

Tiredness kills (or at least makes me want to kill people.
Trains run at speed of Bobby Mann
Alcohol is good, unless drunk by mindless idiots on trains
United and Everton win games, to amazement of world
Cute girls are always dating people
Nice people in Glasgow shocker!
Computers at work don't work.

There will be more of an update later but to be honest I just need lots of tea and some time to relax before I can get my brain back into gear. I will say that I had a good week in Bonnie Scotland and had a good laugh with everyone.

Tuesday, October 22, 2002 - 11:09 p.m.

Well here are the results you have to keep in mind when adding to the first paragraph below - contemporary novel; set in present time and multiple locations; items included in book - teapot, tipex, laptop; concert as one of the locations; persons - isobel, ben damo; train also included somewhere.

In this thrilling new book we encounter Ben, a music nut who spends all his time and money surrounding himself with music when one night at a local gig his life changes forever when he meets Isobel.

Phonics
Mich
Pixgrrl
Achren
Citigrrrl
Gingi
Kymee
Discodave
Pop-Pop
Glitterscars
Torch
Pablo
Larissa
Volcanic
Neil Gaiman